Silicon Valley etiquette and startup resources (from Stanford alumni and students)

I asked former StanfordGuide readers who are now Stanford alumni and students to share Silicon Valley etiquette and startup resources.

Sorted by most recent admits first.

Ben Pan, Stanford ’27 (dropped out to join a startup, Cognition, makers of Devin)

• Startup resources for future founders: My answer is biased bc i’m on this path right now, but I would encourage people to network their way into a fast-growing company where they will learn a lot and work with great people. The amount of work at those companies is exponentially growing, and they often need young, hungry people to take on these responsibilities, so if you’re resourceful I don’t think it’s hard to be able to do this. Then once you’re in, get to know the leaders, investors, and board members of the company because if you want to start a company later, their support is so helpful. The people you work with might also become your cofounders later. And make sure to ask for more leadership roles so you keep growing. Do these well, and I think the chances of success are way higher. I think the SF startup scene is fairly low signal high noise. It was probably very different 10 years ago, but right now I wouldn’t do any programs, especially given AI.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Be very responsive. Successful people’s calendars / inboxes fill up quickly.
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: Ask good, specific questions. Be on time, and respect the other person’s time.

Zack Seifert, Stanford ’27

• Startup resources for future founders: Work at a growing startup. You learn the most by being in the game, not just watching.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Keep emails short. Talk in terms of things that are mutually beneficial
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: Show up early

Justin Yang, Stanford ’27

• Startup resources for future founders: “Be so good they can’t ignore you.” Honestly, after being at some top places, I’ve realized that if you can execute, people will find you. I know guys at top companies who are ranked higher than me, 15, 16, 18-year-olds, who just got really good at growth. They are better than any credentialed Stanford kid you could find. Who do you think is going to get hired? Just get so good that the lack of a degree or “clout” doesn’t matter.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Write with your own voice. Don’t make somebody suffer through something that GPT wrote or something that seems disingenuous. Just give people something real.
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: Be proactive. I’m still learning this myself. Also, be prepared for volatility, meetings get canceled at the last minute all the time.

Varun Shenoy, Stanford ’23

• Startup resources for future founders: Create things. People tend to focus too much on creative input (e.g. classes, programs, watching videos, listening to podcasts) and not enough on creative output (start a technical blog, post an open source project, sell an app). People with good taste and creative output will get pulled into startups organically.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Always always always check with both parties before intros.
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: If a meeting is important, you should prep for it and have a clear view of what success looks like. If a meeting isn’t important, you probably shouldn’t have it scheduled.

Sasankh Munukutla, Stanford ’22 ’23

• Startup resources for future founders: In terms of startup advice, I think we live in a very lucky time where a lot of this is available through books like High Growth Handbook, The Great CEO Within, through talks, so I think you get a lot of the learnings easily. That being said, the best way to learn about doing a startup is to do a startup or work at an early one (even more so than going to Stanford). So I think the closer you can get to that experience the better, and there’s definitely plenty of programs where you can intern at a Silicon Valley startup. Often a lot of the VCs, like Kleiner Perkins, have programs where they have you intern at a portfolio company, YC has “Work at a Startup”. So these are all great ways that you can get in early at a company. I also think the Stanford community is pretty open. I think a lot of events end up being open to the wider Silicon Valley community, etc., aren’t just exclusively for students. So if you’re in the area for the summer for example, definitely recommend plugging in! The other piece is access and getting a foot in the door. When early on in your career, even doing things like offering to volunteer for free or offering to spend a few weeks just to show your value or even doing a side project or having your final project for a class be something that’s useful for a specific startup you are interested in, are all great things and natural ways when you’re still trying to build your track record and resume to get in the door. I think what you’ll find is Silicon Valley is a pretty welcoming place on the whole. People want to help and want to pay it forward. So, as long as you’re passionate, you’re curious, and you’re humble, and showing up in the right ways and spaces, I think it’s pretty doable for anybody to feel like they get a lot out of the ecosystem.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Warm intros help and this really goes beyond Silicon Valley. And if you’re facilitating an intro, make sure to check with both parties that they’re actually excited to meet. The higher up and the more busy the person is, I found being very specific on the one or two unique things you want to learn from them or can offer really helps facilitate an intro. Wherever possible, find a way to help and offer something, and aim to build a transformational rather than transactional relationship. Don’t underestimate your ability to offer something even when you’re just starting out, it can be as small as “I am a student and will share roles from your company with other smart students or pitch ideas for your company as final projects for courses.” and importantly, do this in a non-transactional way.
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: I think this isn’t unique to Silicon Valley: meetings are meetings anywhere, but I think the standard rules apply. Try to be a few minutes early especially if you asked/set up the meeting and then for whatever reason, if life stuff happens, make sure to communicate ahead of time and give the person notice as soon as possible that you will be late/can’t make it. If possible, try to get a person’s life story in their own words when meeting for the first time (even if they are famous/have Wikipedias — you can always learn something new about any person). I think these are just good rules of thumb for life.

Anonymous, Stanford ’22

• Startup resources for future founders: Be active on twitter. Come to SF. Make things you think are exciting, cool, useful. Follow your curiosity deep. and go even deeper than you thought you could ever go. Share it online. DM people and ask good questions.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Speed is important / appreciated. Short # of follow ups as possible to get scheduled is good
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: Having a concise / compelling story about yourself is good. Clear asks. Easily forwardable emails/ask emails.

Ronak Malde, Stanford ’22

• Startup resources for future founders: Visit SF, go on Luma and find events, and absorb knowledge from meeting people
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Everyone wants to be heard and feel human connection
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: Be humble and intellectually curious. Don’t try to prove yourself to other people

Jason Zhao, Stanford ’21

• Startup resources for future founders: Join a startup directly, Palantir Meritocracy Fellowship and other similar programs, Thiel Fellowship, Emergent Ventures.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Always double-opt in if you’re making intros. Ask both parties before connecting them. Also, make sure the intro is genuinely interesting for both parties. When asked for an intro, politely declining is totally OK and a good skill to learn in general.
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: Prepare, especially if you’re talking to someone you admire. Read their published writing/thoughts, listen to podcasts if they have been on any, and have a baseline understanding of their career — no one wants to regurgitate well-known public info.

Nick Rubin, Stanford ’21

• Startup resources for future founders: Teach yourself how to build amazing products and read lots of books. Start now if you haven’t already. If you are a deeply curious person, then this should come easily (and if you know you want to do startups, you probably are). Stop scrolling X and short-form video apps.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Learn how to write a good cold email and get used to being rejected. This is probably one of the most important skills in life, period.
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: Be a good listener and ask good questions.

Rohan Kapur, Stanford ’21 (dropped out to start a business)

• Startup resources for future founders: For startups, I would just get to building things. As much as tech twitter can sometimes be exhausting, I think participating in it can open you up to a lot of connection opportunities — whether it be VCs wanting to invest, founders wanting to give you work, etc. So you could build up a presence there and on HackerNews then once you’ve hit a certain following start to demo/show the interesting things you’ve been building, making sure there’s a level of craft in the brand and product demo. YC is an obvious avenue; startup materials are so abundant these days you shouldn’t have a hard time finding it. Pay attention to the news IMO, I’ve always found it helpful to keep really up to date on the latest developments and the nuances of how things are working behind all the headlines.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Keep it short, simple. People are busy.
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: Ask good questions, show value, don’t seem needy. Also, as with anything in life, charisma sells. Life is silly that way.

Anonymous, Stanford ’19

• Startup resources for future founders: I would do whatever the contrary capital of today is (contrary was great in 2016–19), build interesting things online and post them to twitter, be (actually) helpful to powerful VCs, and get to one of the important companies as an early hire.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Be careful about copy paste and formatting
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: Come prepared, ask questions that both communicate research like a dwarkesh or hot ones host Sean Evans, but you also should communicate your own ambitions (most relevant to powerful ppl bc they’re interested in being on the edge)

Chris Barber, Stanford ’16

• Startup resources for future founders: Go on twitter. Make things, and tweet about them. Repeat. To get the lingo, listen to lots of podcasts with people you admire.
• Silicon Valley email etiquette: Short, clear. Write like you talk. If it’s important, ask a friend to read it and say what’s confusing. Send more cold emails.
• Silicon Valley meeting etiquette: If you’ll be >0s late, send an email or text. Share your hopes and dreams and what would be a lucky break for you. The more people who know what you care about, the better.

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